So last weekend I went home for the weekend. By this I mean I got on a plane at LAX and flew 10.5 hours to London then 4 days later flew back! It was an incredible weekend packed with seeing the ones I love. I got to see my family (the wedding I went home for),, my friends who live near and far and my work friends.
But there was a big problem. It felt like I'd never left. If been gone a year and there were no real changes, everything was pretty much as I left it. My friends were still doing the same things with a few exceptions, work friends were still working on various schools (though admittedly we all left at the same time so I knew they were in different schools) and my family are all still exactly the same.
I have changed so much that it is inconceivable to me that my world back home hasn't changed, yet that is the case. My biggest fear was and still is that I would go home and nothing will have changed, everything will go back to normal and it will be as if this whole trip never happened. A year and half will be reduced to nothing but memories. And after my quick trip home I'm facing the reality that this might just be the case.
What has this got to do with living in the present? I hear you ask.
Well, living in the present means not worrying about the past or the future and focusing on the now, the only thing you can control or change is what you do right now.
So currently, my present is traveling and all I can do is make each day count, live it to the fullest. But, when I return home my focus will be living everyday back home to the full, trying not to focus on the past. While I will always have the memories, living in the past and always yearning for what was rather than what is, can cause you harm mentally.
So, what I'm trying to say is that my greatest fear is inevitable. My trip will become just a memory. I will settle back into “normal” life and it will feel like this never actually happened.
I think what I'm trying to say is that the problem with living in the present is, eventually, the present will become the past.
All I can hope it's that the lessons I've learned and the person I've become, will remain.