Let's go Deeper

A friend of mine posted something on Facebook about small talk. It talks mostly about people being happiest and making the most authentic connections when they skip the small talk and delve deeper. The link is here if you want to take a look:
https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/13-genius-questions-most-interesting-people-ask-to-start-great-conversations.html
Considering a major part of our job as teachers is to connect with students and make meaningful connections with them as people (or at least I strongly believe so), it's amazing how stuck we can be in small talk. While traveling I am definitely guilty of it, asking the same questions day after day and only on day 5 of knowing someone actually get anywhere real; that's if neither of us travel on.

So in the interest of delving deeper I'm going to share with you the questions this article suggests and my answers to them. Think about your own answers and perhaps you'll find a few of them interesting to ask a student or a colleague. Deep connections can be monumental in those struggling with mental health issues, weather that's you, the student or a colleague.

• What's your story?

I'll paraphrase. I had an amazing childhood with great parents and friends, I was bullied but who wasn't?! I got good grades, tried to be a doctor, luckily that failed and I fell into teaching maths which I loved! A combination of things led to depression, I quit my job traveled the world and here I am now; heading back to do what I love!

• What's the most expensive thing you've ever stolen?

I think the only thing I actually ever stole was a Milky bar, I felt so guilty I snuck it back. But on a different level I think I've stolen people's time once or twice and that's pretty valuable.

• What is your present state of mind?

I'm really happy, calm and seeing a lot of good in the world around me (I'm coming down off yoga high though).

• What absolutely excites you right now?

The thought of going back to teaching, the infinite possibilities of what I can teach and how, how to help the kids.

• What book has influenced you the most?

Harry Potter was, I think, the first bigger book I ever read; it gave me the love of reading I still have to this day. And it's those hundreds of books that have also helped shape me.

• If you could do anything you wanted tonight (anywhere, for any amount of money), what would you do and why?

I'd have a dinner party with my friends in my house in London. I haven't seen them in far too long and I'd hug all of them and talk all night about something deeper than the weather. I miss them, I miss talking to them, I miss hugs a whole hell of a lot and I love them and they should know that. (Maybe in the last 10 mins a celebrity could turn up).

• If you had the opportunity to meet one person you haven't met who would it be, why and what would you talk about?

David Attenborough, hands down, without a doubt. We'd talk about the planet and the oceans and whales and travel. But I'd probably mostly just listen to an incredible man and his beautiful voice.

• What's the most important thing I should know about you?

There's a whole lot of conversation going on in my head that I don't verbalise, I'll be replaying what I said over and over thinking of things I should have said and didn't or planning what to say next. Just because I seem ok doesn't mean I am (even though sometimes I really am ok).

• What do you value more, intelligence or common sense?

I think common sense, because you can't really learn that. Intelligence is just a product of of society an ability to regurgitate facts. Common sense is a way of seeing the world.

• What movie is your favorite guilty pleasure, and why?

Beauty and the beast or the Lion King because Disney movies make me feel like a happy kid again. Life is simple in a Disney movie, it's predictable, good always triumphs and there's always a happily ever after.

• You are stuck on a deserted island, and you can only take three things. What would they be?

My instinct is to be practical (warmth and food/water) but I'll go for a more sentimental route. I’d take a friend for company, Jesse my cuddly horse and a diary to keep me sane. But if I'm honest I think I'd be ok without anything, I'm getting used to a simpler life while traveling and realising there's very little that I 'need’.

• When and where were you happiest in your life?

This last year and a half, traveling. Following my every whim, exploring who I actually am and what I really want.

• What do you think is the driving force in your life?

Happiness. I think if this will actually make me happy before I do something. If it's not making me happy why am I doing it? If it's not making others happy, why am I doing it? If money doesn't make us happy why do we do jobs we don't like to get it? I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable. But I also know that I can be happy anywhere because I think part of being happy is choosing to be happy or rather choosing to let go of the things that make you miserable.

I hope this has given you an insight into me and perhaps you'll use this to ask someone a deeper question next time you meet them. Perhaps you'll even be surprised at their response. I'd love, love, love it if anyone wanted to post their own answers to one or all of these in a comment (or message me if your shy). And don't think ‘oh, she doesn't mean me I barely know her’ let's change that! You know me a lot better than most now!