Summer is nearly over, which means just 1 week until I am a fully fledged teacher with a FULL timetable. It also means just 4 months until i leave for my trip and don't return for over a year!!
And I am terrified.
I need to say that because it's true. I've never been so nervous and yet so excited. part of me wants to get on the plane now and the other part wants to call the whole thing off and stay in my comfy safe house. But where would be the fun in that? I think a lot of people underestimate how scared I am, I've been told I'm so brave by mum at least twice a month since I told her my plans. Friends have said they couldn't do it, but I'm not even sure I can do it! I can see the way I feel in a lot of other people, and I'm not just talking about the kids who have to stand up and give a speech or don't run for head boy /girl. There are colleagues who haven't gone for promotions or haven't put in to go up the pay scale, the fear we create inside ourselves holds us back. But it shouldn't. I have a tendancy to jump in to things with both feet, I'll interview just for the experience or just in case I am what they want, but it hasn't always been that way.
When I was a lot younger we went to a water park in Florida where they had one ride in particular, it was petrifying! I'm seriously not even sure this thing was legal. You stood in a pod and the floor speed out from under you, dumping you on a vertical slide that was huge! I was desperate to go on it and got in the pod, but i panicked, I mean I really panicked, made them let me out and walked down the stairs. My brother however did go on, he loved it. Went on about how amazing it was for weeks! I made myself a promise that day, that I would never let my fears get in the way of an experience.
Since then I've been fairly adventurous, I'm always the person up for something random, for a 24 year old I've done a lot: scuba diving, indoor sky diving, 3 weeks driving round Europe, a Russian exchange, super car driving and a lot more. I'm lucky to have had these opportunities but I've also had to force myself into just going for it. I've always liked the saying "we regret most the things that we do not do", but I think the following quote sums it up better :
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - apparently not Mark Twain but someone named H. Jackson Brown’s mother? Either way a great quote and how I try to live my life.
Perhaps we could all learn a thing or two from this quote, especially going into the new school year.